Written by:
The Freemans
A photo of Aaron and Jocelyn Freeman

Are we expecting too much from men?

Both single women AND women in relationships have asked me this week: "Am I expecting too much from him?"

I love this question because, funnily enough, I've had it come up many times. 

I've even caught myself internally asking this question and wondered if I have unrealistic expectations. 

Tune in to hear more of this episode here on iTunes: LISTEN HERE

A couple of things come to mind as I ask myself: 

1. Am I expecting something from him because I'm not providing it to myself? for example, compliments, love, affection, attention.... am I not providing love to myself?

Talk about how things should be a bonus. 

His love is a BONUS on top of the love I have for myself. 

His gifts are a BONUS to the gifts I give myself. 

An empowered partnership really is when two individuals are whole and complete for themselves first. 

2. Is my expectation really a request that I haven't vocalized. "Excuse me, can't you read my mind?" - we all fall into that, right? 

If I notice there's an expectation that comes up, I ask myself if I've vocalized it to him as a request that he can choose to take on or not. (again, this is AFTER I have personally filled my cup, my happiness is not reliant on him).

Let's say I ask myself, "Is it too much to expect for him to still open the door for me years into our marriage?" 

Well, I can look and see if I have asked him and the answer is usually no.

I immediately feel freedom when I just make the request. NONE of it is too much. It's only unfair if we don't vocalize it to give them a shot to say yes or no.

Now, some of you may be asking: "Well, what if I ask him to do/be/have something and he says no?" 

You have to ask yourself: is it a non-negotiable, "gotta have" thing? If not, then see how you can get creative and have the experience you want? 

If it's a "gotta have" thing, then try to learn about his perspective and why he doesn't align with providing that. Maybe by learning his perspective it will actually clear it up for you and you'll feel complete about not needing it.

The biggest thing is that you're IN communication about it. It's not in your head with you expecting him to know without you telling him.

Tune in to hear more of this episode here on iTunes: LISTEN HERE

Much love, Jocelyn Freeman

Author: The Freemans

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