A relationship involves more than two people who are attracted to each other; it involves respect, sacrifice, and devotion. Maybe that’s why many couples feel confused and distant once the “honeymoon” phase ends.
They feel that the spark between them had fizzled out, and that they’re not right for each other.
If you feel that you and your partner are in this position, have a conversation about it.
It could be that you feel your goals are not being met and, in turn, constrained by your relationship.
Before you throw in the towel - literally or figuratively - talk about your individual and mutual goals, as well as how you can achieve them together. Perhaps you can even set goals together.
1. Play More: Don’t get caught up in the hustle without having time to play. Go outside, turn off the phones, play on beach cruisers, and dance in the rain.
2. Enjoy Nature More: Have you heard of the term ‘grounding?’ Grounding is being barefoot, present in nature, and enjoying the natural elements. Do this with your partner throughout the week.
According to a Huffington Post article with Deepak Chopra, grounding reduces
stress and inflammation in the body, and creates peace of mind.
3. Delegate More: Due to the abundance of technology resources, we don’t need to spend our time on the mundane activities if we don’t enjoy them. Instead of spending at least fifteen minutes getting to and from the bank, do your banking online. If you hate grocery shopping, use an app, and pay a few dollars to have your groceries delivered.
4. Delete Obligations: If you feel there are certain events, commitments, or groups that you feel ‘obligated’ to go to and, ultimately, lower your energy, then it’s time to delete them. Time and life are precious.
5. Hire a Babysitter More Frequently: More than ever, there are unlimited options that ensure your children are taken care of, while you and your partner spend time together. You can use an app to search for a babysitter, or you could even form a group of friends who take turns watching the kiddos when you decide to go on a date.
6.Watch Less T.V.: When you come home from work, you might be tired. But break the routine of watching T.V. and seek activities that stimulate you two - physically, mentally, or both. For example, you can sign up for dance lessons, a sports club, or you could even explore different hobbies a couple of nights per week.
7. Surprise Each Other:
After years together as a couple, it can get easy to take your partner for granted. Take turns surprising each other with activities, gifts, trips, and traditions that will keep the spark alive for years to come.
Psychology Today shared ways to surprise your spouse, such as getting their car washed, meeting them at their office and taking them home, or making them a massage appointment.
8. Learn More About Sex: Don’t settle for “okay” sex; learn together through books, courses, and videos. Also, don’t be afraid to be honest with each other about your satisfaction. Sex should be an activity that’s enjoyed by the both of you.
9.Start a Side Business: There’s no reason to have to say “we can’t afford that” with today’s options. You can create additional income with an insane amount of options, especially online.
Hear some of the most untold nuances of being in business with your spouse in this interview with Home Based Business Magazine
10. Delete Bills: Go through all of your recurring bills and see if you can delete a few that really don’t matter to you. Then, re-allocate those funds to support your dreams. You’d be surprised how the money that goes towards 2 or 3 bills a month can contribute to your dream vacation.
11. Dream Bigger: Think beyond the house and car. What is even BIGGER and more fulfilling to you two as a couple? Maybe you dream to start and fund a non-profit, or you dream to travel for half of the year. Whatever it is, dream BIGGER together and create financial goals to make it a reality.
12. Communicate with Texting Compliments: Let’s face it, texting IS a part of our modern day communication. But don’t just text your partner about “to-do” items and mundane questions. Make it a habit to send flirty messages, cute pictures, and funny memes to each other. Keep things fresh and fun.
13.Remove the Clutter: You might be feeling that the two of you care less about objects and more about experiences. Remove clutter from your house, closet, or offices. Keep the space in your lives fresh, useful, and open.
14. Make New Promises to Each Other: The two of you might have been together for a while, and the promises you made before are outdated (or even forgotten). Spend some time this weekend to write and share your new promises with each other.
15. Have a Family Meeting: Don’t let issues fester for months and years without being discussed. Sit down monthly or weekly to talk about everything. Use this free Family Meeting Worksheet download (scroll down on the homepage)
16. Listen to Podcasts Together: Even if you’re separated throughout the day, each of you can listen to a podcast during your lunch or drive home. Talk about what you each learned and loved about the podcast over dinner.
17. Compare Less: With social media booming more than ever, it can be more tempting for you to compare yourselves to other couples. If you find yourself feeling jealous or comparing your relationship to others’, ask yourselves each other what dream that creates for you and pursue making it a reality.
18. Hire a Couple’s Coach: The two of you might feel compelled to have a coach who can work with both of you to expand your mindset and overcome blocks that hold you back from your dreams. Explore couple’s coaching options to help you exceed your goals.
19. Form More Meaningful Friendships: You might find yourselves wishing that your friends were interested in more meaningful activities. Make an inventory of your friendships and see if you two want to introduce new couples to your circle.
20. Swap Out Happy Hour: Invite your friends to try a workshop with you or fitness program instead of the weekly drinking gatherings. Perhaps you could see if they’d be up for game night at home, rather than spend the night at a loud bar.
21. Be More Authentic: Do you feel like you are fake with certain friends, sometimes? If that’s the case, maybe it’s time for the two of you to be more authentic with them and even cultivate new friendships in which you feel you can be yourselves.
22.Meditate Together: The two of you can connect in deeper ways. For instance, you can plan to sit with each other for 15 minutes a day and meditate in silence. Or you can meditate along to different meditation apps.
23. Learn About Sacred Sexuality: Did you know that you can have a spiritual experience during intimacy? Dive into resources to discover how you can connect spiritually and physically.
24. Keep the Bedroom Sacred: Remove phones and the television from your room, especially at night and in the morning. Keep the bedroom as a place of peace and connection between the two of you.
25. Redefine Parenting: The two of you might want to learn new philosophies of parenting that you can implement. Start reading books and blogs, written by parenting innovators, and redefine what parenting might look like in your family and friend circle.
26. Teach While Traveling: Rather than teaching your kids about Asia, show them Asia. Explore schooling options that align with your plans and schedules and teach your children while traveling.
27. Start to Volunteer as a Family: Research an organization, group, or mission that your family feels passionate about and get involved. Dedicate a certain amount of time per month to grow that mission, and it will become an incredible bonding activity.
28. Swap Gifts For a Trip: Suggest to your families to meet at a new destination for the holidays and enjoy a new city instead of gifts/objects. Make memories, not things.
29. Be Inspired by Your Work: If at any point, you aren’t inspired by your work, make a change. Maybe you want to grow your leadership in a company, or perhaps even start a business to feel more inspired. Don’t settle for a paycheck at the expense of your happiness.
30. Ask for a Raise: Challenge each other to go to your bosses and ask for a raise. You can even invest time into writing out some projects, showing that you deserve the pay raise because you’ll add more value to the company.
31. Start a Business: The two of you might be feeling inspired to team up and start the project you’re both passionate about. It can start off as a side business run beyond your work hours, but you can grow it to be your full-time focus if that is what you desire as a couple.